Archive for October, 2013

A few more open letters…

October 16, 2013

Dear Jenny McCarthy,
You want us all to believe that vaccines are poison, but you’ve got no problem hawking e-cigarettes. Hey, I just read an article that I just made up that links silicone to chronic hypocrisy. Seriously though, you know what actually is a toxin? Botox. The ‘tox’ part literally means ‘toxin.’ And it may be beside the point, but your old tv show was awful and I blame you for ruining Jim Carrey’s movie career.
Love, Ryan
Originally posted on Facebook, 9/29/2013

Dear John Boehner,
Remember when the country had a chance to vote for a President who’d repeal ‘Obamacare’ in 2012? How’d that go? Remember how your party’s legislators vowed to repeal it and you guys lost 2 seats in the Senate and 8 in the House? In fact, more votes were cast for Democratic representatives in 2012 than Republican ones. (The only reason you held your majority was because of good ol’ fashioned Gerrymandering.) Did you notice how a majority of the effects of ‘Obamacare’ have already gone into effect for people with insurance, and when polled on those effects, they actually like it?
I’m not here to argue the merits of the Affordable Care Act. I’m just here to tell you that your basis for shutting down the federal government because "The American People don’t want Obamacare" is a complete and utter lie manufactured by a radical wing of your party. If the government shuts down in six minutes, it will be single-handedly your fault.
Love, Ryan
Originally posted on Facebook, 9/30/2013

Dear Fox News,
You can’t pride yourself on being "America’s Most Watched News Channel" while simultaneously bashing the "mainstream media" without looking like idiots. Then again, logic has never been your strong suit. And it’s not that you’re stupid people (save for Fox & Friends). You’re just lazy journalists. I just watched Megyn Kelly conclude that the shutdown and debt ceiling crisis are solely President Obama’s fault based off of an out-of-context clip from an interview conducted by ABC News. Makes me wonder if her high school English papers were about how "To Kill a Mockingbird" had great tips on hunting or that "The Jungle" was an exciting rainforest adventure. And it may be beside the point, but what’s with all the pretty blonde anchors? I’m not saying attractive women can’t make great journalists, but when your on-air talent is responsible for more sexy magazine spreads than Pulitzers, Peabodys, or Emmys, you’re not a news channel–you’re a joke.
Love, Ryan
Originally posted on Facebook, 10/16/2013

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